⚠️ Notice: The Static Dampening Field
Inmates sentenced for malicious magic or chronic littering are fitted with anti-magic shackles upon arrival. The Dampening Field ensures you receive absolutely no protection from the unpredictable magical side effects of the local livestock. Complaining about the lack of magic will result in an immediate transfer to Manual Hydration Duty.
Mandatory Restorative Alignment Tasks
- Manual Hydration Duty: Chronic litterers must fill heavy ceramic jugs and haul them across the property to hydrate animals, staff, and plants. A secondary water bag will be affixed to your back for your own survival.
- Vocal Harmony Training: Acoustic Polluters will spend exactly 12 hours a day singing to the livestock to maintain a calm aura, regardless of how raw their throats become.
- Chicken Coop Assembly: No magic. No instructions. Just last year's rusted tools and extremely impatient poultry.
Required Educational Seminars
Attendance is mandatory. Sleeping during a seminar extends your sentence by one (1) sev-night.
- Carriage Warranties & Lateral Structural Instability: A two-hour daily deep-dive into the legal intricacies of left-hand threaded square flanged nuts.
- Butter Origins & Churning Apprenticeships: 100% manual labor. Magical emulsification is strictly prohibited.
🏆 The Awareness Awards Night 🏆
Hosted jointly by the Local Registry & Willow's Grace
Join us for an evening of entirely arbitrary bureaucratic recognition! Attendance is mandatory for all current laborers. Enjoy free goody bags and dinner meals (quality not guaranteed).
Categories Include:
"Most Tithes Provided"
"Most Hours Served at the Husbandry Farm"