The Incident of the Fire Wolves and the Sheep:
"Please keep all public discourse muted regarding the unfortunate collision in Sector 4. The sheep apologized and are currently in time-out. The Fire Wolves are resting in the infirmary and are expected to be released next week. Do not make direct eye contact with the contestants."
The Talent Show Intermission Log:
"Performances in the 'Annual Atheria Is Not Untalented Show!' show will proceed. An intermission of exactly twenty-two minutes will begin precisely after 35 minutes of stage activity. If you leave the physical perimeter, you forfeit all rights to re-entry. Keep your slips signed."
Acknowledging an unparalleled ability to absorb 100% of clerical error blame to keep management running smoothly.
Granted for spending so much consecutive time in the manure trenches that the livestock no longer recognize you as human.
Honoring mages who completely surrender their old names to Phlegm Soupy Steve without annoying the filing clerks.