Help Wanted:
Loop Hole Specialist: Ideal canadate can reliably exploit available loopholes. If one does not exist, one must be able to create one. If it refuses to exist, it must be intimidated into being. Must have impeccable math skills, or excel in hastily covert positioning skills if contact is made with accounting. Serious inquiries only. Those of weak will need not apply.
Gendarme Warning:
This is a formal notice that excessive Ocular Narcissism is against the law. You can be prosecuted and sentenced to time in the Public Pit. Narcissism is a private act, see that you keep it to yourself.
Piblic Reminder:
Due to an outbreak of Crumb Weevils, on-duty medical staff will be available. If you, or someone you know notice any unusual hording of small sized, larged-sized, or medium-sized things, seek medical attention. Please discard any food stuffs found with holes in the corruptibles receptacle.