Master Civic Code

📜 Atherian Canon Laws

"The Douchebaggery Prohibitions"

Statute:
Over Dramatic Entrance Tax

No unpermitted thunderclaps, orbital illumination, or cloak billowing without permit 1217-Z.
First Offense: The offender must re-enter the space repeatedly using increasingly mundane methods until all theatrical instinct is exhausted.
Second Offense: 5 months 2 weeks service at animal husbandry farm.
Third Offense: 1 year 6 months and 6 days service at the animal Husbandry Farms and seminar attendance is mandatory.
Littering of nonbiodigradable items of any kind is strictly forbidden. Automatic 5 years of hard labor on the farms. Yes both. You'll figure it out.

Statute:
Excessive Brooding in Public Spaces:

Brooding near reflective surfaces without narrative justification is prohibited.
First Offense: The offender must explain their feelings to passersby until emotionally resolved or socially exhausted.
Second offense: Time served in the public pit will be calculated based on time spent publicly brooding. Time must be 2x the brooding time. One hour = 2 hours pit time. Each subsequent offense, pit sentence increases by offense number, eg. Three hours brooding = 6 hours pit time, four hours brooding = 8 hours pit time, 5 hours = 10 hours pit time etc...up to 15 hours. After which, emotional confiscation may be implemented.

The Birth Anniversary Clause:
If it is the culprit's birth anniversary or first break up, they will be given a “get-away-with-it-free” card. If it is both your birth anniversary and first break up, you get a surprise. Please see the Archivists. To apply for a brooding dispensation, see the Illuminorium in the Registry Building.

Statute:
Acoustic Wastefulness

Offender is given 7 simple tasks. They may complete none of them fully. Examples: they may be asked to pour a cup of water stopping before full, writing a sentence but may never finish it, or open a door but cannot pass through. This continues until the offender has wasted an equal amount of their own time as they did the courts.
Second offense: the offender is subjected to phonetic confiscation of the letters, S and L. They are rendered incapable of speaking words with those letters for a fortnight.
The Birth Anniversary Clause: if it's the culprit's birth anniversary, a 24 hour postponement is granted & only the letter S is removed.

The Statute: Integrity in Form

"Every object created must hold its "Truth." To craft a chair that wobbles is to commit Material Perjury."

First Offense: whatever object that was dishonestly made, is now deemed illegal for the culprit until their next birth anniversary arrives. Households may still have such items but the culprit's use is strictly prohibited.

Second Offense (The Burden of the Broken): The offender is magically tethered to the broken object. (e.g., forced to act as the physical latch for a broken door).

Statute:
Withholding Civic Gratitude

"Unnecessary complaining" or "Unjust insults" regarding guild labor are classified as Emotional Arson.
First Offense (The Gilded Stitch): The offender's mouth is magically sutured with Spectral Silk for 14 days, with nutrients provided via an IV that tastes like the nearest brown thing.
Second Offense (The Brine-Tongue Curse): For one year, every morsel of food and water tastes exclusively of Old Dill Pickles.
Third Offense (The Permanent Silence): Total tongue removal.

Statute: Phonetic Dissonance & Assault:

Verbally assault for personal ego inflation or harmful intent without narrative justification. Inquire about applications for dispensation form 4o1-C. First offense: phonetic confiscation 1 letter for a sev-night.
Second offense: phonetic confiscation of two letters & litter clean up for 2 moon cycles. Letters picked arbitrarily by on duty Gendarme.

Intermission:
Archival Processing

Proceeding to the next civic classification layer.

Statute:
Dissolution of the Sanctity of the Food Meals:

"A plate is a contract; a complaint is a duel." Rudely or disrespectfully Making an "unnecessary complaint" against a Cook, Brewer, or Server is strictly prohibited. They are not perfect, if you want it perfect, make it yourself. One must provide proof of neglect and/or wickedness: One must prove the food is objectively inedible. Cases deemed frivolous and whiny, could be sentenced to the Brine-Tongue. Taste buds rendered to repel all but the vinegary for a week.
The “Garlic Defense" Unless allergies can be proven, a Chef is accused of "wickedness" for using too much garlic, they are almost always acquitted. Garlic has the right to be strong, unlike bananas.

End of Registry

"The records of Atheria are sealed here."

Statute:
Strategic Cognitive Failure

Defined as weaponized incompetence: intentionally demonstrating a lack of basic proficiency in a task previously mastered.

First Offense: 2 years at Husbandry Farms & mandatory seminars. Or 2 days in the Public Pit (no reading material allowed).

Second Offense: 4 years of tedious labor with Archivists. Mandatory labor shall be served in perpetuity, without weekend reprieve.

Statute: The "Tidal-Mood" Prohibition

No expressing "Excessive Melancholy"or "Unlicensed Joy" during the Silver Moon's waxing phase. Punishment: Wearing The Anchor-Hat, which weighs exactly as much as your "Emotional Debt," for a full moon cycle.