Notice to Patrons: Scribe Tessa is currently processing all transactions with her non-dominant hand, as her primary hand privileges were permanently revoked by the Arboretum for spelling errors. Please be patient. Do not rush her.
📜 Booth Policies & Pricing
- Viewing Tickets: Every Wednesday is free. All subsequent days are priced according to the daily "Excitement Level" of the Pit schedule.
- Pelting Munitions: Only mismatched shoes, degraded agricultural commodities, and masonry products may be hurled at inmates. Limited to three pair of shoes per person. No exceptions.
- Arbitrary Awards Voting: Leave your voting slips for "Best Artwork Found In The Wild" in the box below the kiosk. 9You cannot vote if you are currently sentenced to the pit. Best Gendarme Officer is for Pit Residents. Farm Stewards, vote on Bestest Agister, of the Gendarme. They're different.
General Information
Ask Tessa for the daily schedule, rules, and general warnings regarding the abyss.
Purchase Ticket
Admit one to the viewing gallery. Prices fluctuate based on the arbitrary excitement of the day's offenses.
Buy Pelting Boots
Purchase a set of highly mismatched shoes for hurling. Procured daily from Scribe Mucous Melvin's lost and found.
Submit Voting Slip
Cast your vote for the "Best Gendarme" voted on by Pit Residents. Voting for artwork is to your right. Your other right.
Transaction Ledger
Awaiting customer request...