The Main Reception

Scribe Violet:
Hello and welcome wanderer. This is the Giltway Registration Offices. Here you register your Weaves, Crops and submit any forms. No running, skipping or frolicking. No unnecessary puns or rhyming without narrative justification. While not against the law, it is heavily advised to practice good penmeship. You don’t want to be on the archivist's bad side. Recently, they've made any form submissions they've deemed illegible, strictly prohibited and punishments are strictly enforced. You could lose your primary hand privileges. And unfortunetly, its permanent. We have neither the skills nor the desire to learn the skills needed for a reverse amputation at this time. There is a strict no maple products on the premises rule, also strictly enforced. There is a current wait time at the Chancery of Disatisfaction of 47 days if you needed a complaint form. If you aren't complaining, really? OK, you can check out the directory board. Your Resonance is important to us.

Oh wait! One thing before you go, The accountants…I'd just steer clear of them if you can help it. They are unbearably mundane, bigger arseholes and, twice as violent as the archivists. They just are less confrontational, surprisingly introverted and when they do tell jokes they're hilarious. If you anger them though….gods help you. The Watchers of the Gendarme wouldn't find your body. I don't think even the ferrets could. Anywho, my people meter is out, you can back away now, tell Joan I said hello, and I still need my 5 currentmarks back.

The Giltway Tithing Cafe & Bank

The Honors List

The Grand Warrant of Maximum Deprivation:
Awarded for the voluntary surrender of personal wealth to balance administrative spreadsheets.
Bestest Garden:
Winning gardens are judged based on visual pizzazz, pleasant smell, and general overall likability of gardening contestant.
The Certificate of Excessive Self-Importance:
For Demonstrating Outstanding Confidence in the Face of Reality.
The Decree of Instantaneous Sentence Reduction:
Earned by cleaning horse hooves under extreme equestrian duress.

Public Notices:

Automated Tithing Reminder:

We know how busy life in Giltway can be! If you happen to make a minor accounting error at our Tithing Wells, our automated system provides delightful, personalized reminders to help you stay on track. You may be treated to a sudden influx of complimentary pocket glitter, your shoes may engage in a lively 24-hour squeaking symphony, or you may experience the whimsical, spacious sensation of your own shadow walking exactly two seconds behind you. It’s our fun little way of keeping you accountable!

The Mediation Room

Floor 3 is where the petty, agonizing daily grievances of its citizens are violently mediated. This floor is heavily soundproofed and lined with Echo Glass to detect the vibrational frequencies of liars. It houses two primary institutions: The House of Judgment & Pettiness:
This court does not handle major crimes; it aggressively prosecutes the Douchebaggery Prohibitions, also called the Annoyance Laws.

Paws & Petitions Law Offices & Ferret Law Academy:
Just down the hall, connected by custom ferret-friendly tube layouts, is the legal defense center for Atheria's working animals. Here, advocates file "Dissonance Compensation" claims for beasts exposed to "Unsolicited Optimism" or bad puns, and strictly enforce the Maple Exemption to keep working creatures away from maple-flavored items. Read more about the history of ferret law, the origin of the Charter of Misdeed Ferrets and where that maple allergy came from here: Scriptorium of Historical Records & Curiosities.

Scribe Elessa:

Next! "Hello, please place your hands on the stones for an official vibration calibration. Ugh, I hate that I have to rhyme but that's that's the given line. Hands here please. If you step this way, the vibration calibration stones are just here on this desk. The Giltway stores a lot of resonance, it could crack if enough dissonance is held, these ensure we don't go over the city limits."

The Dissatisfaction Filing Room

Scribe Mucous Melvin:

Hello, welcome to the chambers of dissatisfaction. Yes, the ficus in the corner is Andy Chunknis. Yes, I'll give him Joan's letter. If I don't she'll, make both our lives hell. If you need to complain to me, about me, or the way things are run around here you'll need a form for that. But please understand, I don't care. I have no desire to read any forms or Grievances you submit. I'm here for the Andy, the ficus. That, and they pay me in Stardust Herb and Spore Honey. Keys are distributed based on a first-come, last-ignored basis. If your key is currently out of reach, please consult the other Ficus, Rivet, in the Registration Lobby. You’ll need 3 separate forms. Have a seat, Ill be with you when I feel like it. No, I will not explain how I got renamed to Mucous Melvin.

Employee of the month. Three months in a row!

Andy Chunknis, the object of Joan's desire.

Keys are given on a first-come, last-ignored basis.

Ensure your applications are perfectly balanced before retrieving yours.

If you'll excuse me, I have to read this letter to Andy. He can't read on account of not having eyes. He's a ficus. Lord bailif is sleeping keep you're voice down. The Archivists will see you when they feel like, which, in this room, could be never. If you're not here for the mediation room, you must be here for The High Shenanigan and The Menace. Elevators are broken but their Chambers are through that door there, go down the hallway, past the weather station. Then down a flight of stairs and to the right. No, I will not repeat myself.

About This Deep Repository

Track the sky at The Atherian Weather Station: The Giltway

Warning: Vault Failure Imminent

“Obsession is the name fear takes when fear itself is afraid.”

The Menance's Desk

Please wipe your feet, your resonance, and any lingering narrative foreshadowing before approaching the desk. If you are here to complain about the Menance again, please bring these forms to the complaints office: Form 11‑C (Application for a complaint form), Form 11‑D (Apology to the Archivists) and a valid reason for wasting our time. Finally, you'll need form 11‑C2‑Supplement (Complaint About the Complaint). If you're not complaining, have a seat and wait as long as you have the mental fortitude to stave off the despair and bordem. We close at five.

Ms. Joan F. Icus

Department: Passive Observation & Silent Judgment. Role: Plant. Overseer. HR informant. She files HR reports and will *absolutely* fills out complaint forms. She doesn’t speak, she's a ficus. She just rustles her leaves disapprovingly and a Form 12‑C appears on your desk.

A bewildered scribe

He got conned into working here. He works the most hours in the office clocking in at 26 hours a week. And he does it all for salted meat snacks for a salary. He is truly an inspiration. Seen here next to Moustache Maesterstrokeson VI, Head security Liaison.

The High Shenanigan of Bureaucratic Undersight

This floor is ruled by two of the almost most powerful and exhausted bureaucrats in the Concordia: The High Shenanigan and an official simply known as "The Menace". The Menace is infamous for constantly insisting that dealing with the building's chaotic fallout "is not my job," while absolutely making it her job anyway.
The High Shenanigan is seemingly always in a meeting. (Meaning she's hiding). They authorize continent-wide funding for things like the medical supplies and specific "fluff-density" bedding requirements for the Drift-Vet Carriages.

This is the most philosophically brilliant part of Floor 5. The Department of Bureaucratic Undersight acts as the ultimate rebellion against the ones who use illegal ego inflation by degradation to remain in power the Menance calls them "The Small Ones." Since the they burn dangerous books, the High Shenanigan hides them in text books. They just give them terribly boring titles.
Hiding Truth in Plain Sight: If a piece of writing contains raw, revolutionary truths about radical empathy and soul-alignment that could shatter the rigid system, the Chancellery deliberately hides it under a deadpan, absurd title so only the students that know its secret will ever read it.
The Masterpiece: The most heavily guarded text on this floor is a revolutionary syllabus written by the late Archivist Iren Vaelis. Because it contains a masterpiece of true soul alignment, the Undersight department disguised it under the zero-credit title: The Philosophy of Mankind and Ferret Business.
So hopefully the Small Ones would overlook it.
📜 The Appeals Chamber
Finally, this floor is the last, desperate hope for inmates trapped at the Traditional Husbandry Wellness Center or Willow's Grace Retreat. Inmates seeking to appeal their grueling sentences of digging ditches or wrangling mallards must submit Form 66-6S directly to the High Shenanigan or The Menace here on Floor 5.