🚨 ACTIVE BOUNTY
WANTED: Maelaria e
Crime: Overdramatic Entrance Tax Evasion.
Details: Suspect entered the Quiet Spoke Inn with glowing eyes and a thunderclap, but fled before the Gendarme could enforce the mundane re-entry penalty.
Do not approach. Suspect is highly theatrical.
⚖️ CIVIC REMINDER
The Law of Conservation
Atheria is only lending you energy, not gifting it. All major weaves require immediate eco-tithing.
If you fail to complete your mandatory tree-planting or litter removal, you will be penalized. Defaulting three times will result in your name being legally changed to Phlegm Soupy Sam.
⚠️ HAZARD WARNING
Maple Contraband Alert
Under no circumstances are citizens permitted to feed Gendarme officers maple-flavored goods.
We currently have three officers experiencing severe allergic reactions, causing them to speak entirely in terrible puns. Violators will be chained to the affected officer until the symptoms subside.
🦉 WILDLIFE NOTICE
Tithe-Crow Migration
A large flock of Tithe-Crows (identifiable by glowing blue eyes) has been spotted near the Grand Bazaar.
If you have underpaid your eco-tithes, they will steal your coin and drop it in the nearest Tithing Well. The Gendarme will not reimburse you for stolen funds.